Sunday, April 26th, 2009
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10:55 pm - School
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Well I am trying to write a paper on shakespeare but everything sounds really stupid and conveluted at the moment. I have a general idea of what I want to say but it's gettin glost in translation in my brain to the page. *sigh* I wish you would just write yourself paper. i am doing it on the merchant of venice. I chose to write about how the characters mimic people they feel are morally sound resulting in the flushing out of characters flaws that end up showing society in a negative light. Or something like that.
We worked alot on the fence this weekend. Thank you to everyone who helped out. We got the side up and most of it painted with the sealant/stain. We also got the posts dug and ready for the other side so we can put up the other side and stain it after the concrete sets up. Then there will only be the fence and the side to corner off. I'm sore all over but we are getting there and then the doggies will have somewhere to play and be safe. Also I mowed the back yard with Zak's help.
So... yea.
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Sunday, April 19th, 2009
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11:23 pm - bleh
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I've had a headache for like 3 days now. Man I wish all this rain and sinus pressure would go away. School is going pretty well for me. Tests and midtern stuff coming up soon. Have to write a paper for advanced shakespeare. I am considering doing Macbeth. Feeling sorta weepy today. Too much going on at once.
In other news we are building a fence. We have 3 polls dug but the rain isn't helping. We had to bust through a huge root today and it took forever and kinked up my shoulder. Otherwise not much going on. Seth has weekends off. I look forward to them like a kid at christmas. Two whole days to lounge with him.
Havent found much in the way of employment and it's not going well. Too hard to get a job these days. But so far we are holding up. *sigh* I'm tired.
current mood:  blah
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Sunday, March 29th, 2009
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12:49 am - I had the most terrible dream
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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
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12:15 am - Well...
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I quit my job, as some of you may know. My last day was Saturday. I just couldn't take the general level of stress and misery any more. But now I find for the 1st time in 3 years I am asking "what am I going to do with myself?" Sure I'll still have classes but no income and although life wont be full of shitty work it will sure be full of no money lol.
Perfect opportunity for self discovery and developing writing as a career... but where do I start? I don't have enough samples that I like waiting in the wings to be shown to an agent. Some of my stuff is maybe publishable but that's hardly a solid income. In the worst economic downturn of my life I find myself unemployed and torn between kicking myself and being proud that I finally escaped that hell hole.
So you tell me fate... what should I do? Send me a sign.
current mood:  contemplative
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
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12:10 pm - small update
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Seth got his own store for those of you that dont happen to read my myspace. I forgot to double post it sorry! It's been rough because alot of people have been calling off and he's fired a few for insebordination and lying to him slash no call no showing. It's lame because you'd think in this day and age then 'times are so hard' and people are 'just getting by' that people would be working hard at not losing their jobs. Unfortunately this hasn't been the case. But Sean's been helping out alot and he is starting to aquire more people who are actually worth something. He told his boss I hate him. lol.
Ash "So you hate me yet?"
Seth "No, but my wife does."
Ash "Oh, I guess I don't want to meet her after all then. She'd probably punch me in the face."
Now yes I do not like him because he isn't helping and is generally worthless. But I didn't really want him to know that. Now when I finally meet him he'll know my pleasentries are hiding a layer of thin disgust. Lame. I like his bosses to think kindly of me so they don't mess up our lifes. Or at least so they think about me when it comes time to ask off for vacation or something and they think of their own spouses. *shrugs* Oh well.
Otherwise not alot is going on. Working through school. Have to write a philosophy paper that I really am not looking forward to. I just have no time to sit down and work on it. We;re getting down to the wire this quarter and there isn't much left that needs doing besides the big angry terrible stuff.
Seth and me celebrated a year of marraige last week. Yay! *yawn*
current mood:  happy
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Friday, December 26th, 2008
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12:14 am - Dya
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Thursday, December 11th, 2008
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2:34 pm - Been a while (same as myspace post)
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Hi Everybody!
*Waits for hi Dr. Nick* lol Seriously though. I am sick today (nasty stomach virus thingy) so I thought with this extra time I would post a quick blog. Christmas shopping is going well. Still need one thing for Sethybear and one more each for Erin and Z. Moneys kinda tight with the new house and all but we're doing okay. It will be SOO nice to get my safety deposit back from the old apartment.
I've been hanging out with Tonya at work a bunch. She wants me to join and gym with her and go dancing with her and Nick (her fiance). I think I might because I like her alot and after all who couldn't use a little time at the gym. That way I can stay in shape and next year when Seth and I start having babies I will be in a routine and keep my generally small figure.
The Puppies are doing well. They miss uncle Sean I think but other that that they seem happy at the new place. They are chewing up everything nomatter how many toys I give them but I am hoping that is a puppy phase that will pass eventually. I've been really glad they haven't messed up the christmas tree.
I almost bought a futon the otherday at the Beavercreek Goodwill. It was 50 bucks but it was teenie tiny. Also it was hard as a rock and I didn't think ya;ll would like sleeping on it if you came over.
I'm going to try to get online more to see if I can catch you guys to chat. :) I haven't seen anyone from the old days in like... forever. I don't really know what's happening with anybody. But yeah... lol that's what's going on with me.
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Monday, August 11th, 2008
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12:39 pm - Look at all the people
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Who are reading my post. *counts eyes staring at me* Yah know I just realized you are all fine looking people. *giggles* Seriously though not much going on on my end. Hanging out with the pups, getting together with friends when i am not working. Trying to keep everything simple. :) Like this post! Ha sukka!
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Monday, August 4th, 2008
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11:51 pm - ohio state fair
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Plan is to leave tomorrow at 4 o'clock pm. Some of us are meeting here at my place. Yay! Come!
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Tuesday, July 29th, 2008
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11:15 pm - party
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Monday, July 28th, 2008
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12:19 pm - AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
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I'm so ex-fucking-cited! Lol Seth and me have been looking at houses, as many of you know, and we think we may have found one we like. We haven't even been preapproved yet or anything but the realator lady was really nice. She's gonna help us through the loan stuff and all of the paperwork to get our loan. Then she'll help us find a house (if we decide we like/dont like this one).
But I am really excited either way. Finally a nice lady who wouldn't ignore me or tramp all over the place and never get back to me. Yes, I may be young but Seth and I are responsible, happy people who hopefully can afford a house as beautiful as this. :)
Wish us luck we meet with her tomorrow to go over our options and she is gonna walk us through the basic process of buying a house. EEEee!
current mood: chipper
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Saturday, July 26th, 2008
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10:01 pm - Hey guys
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Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
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2:26 pm - hey everyone
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Me and Erin were thinking about having some sort of group hangout soon. Please let me know when is good for everyone and what we'd like to do. I was thinking movie party. :) love yah guys!
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Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
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12:30 am - message in a bottle
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There you are just living your life like normal when all of a sudden you look up and realize that everything is completely different. When did this happen? Things that once looked so appealing now seem trite and childish. Things that once made you angry make you smile. Did I miss it... when did I grow up?
I mean think about it. I have a husband, soon I'm planning to start house hunting. I never see all of the people I used to love. Why? Not because I don't love them but because they are doing the same thing I am... making a life for themselves. We make time when we can between payments, diper changes, and work schedules... but when did this happen?
I like it. I love it. But at the same time I am confused by it. I never realized we were all moving so far forwards. I hope the day never comes when we can't look backwards fondly. I hope the day never comes when I can't call you/text you/ write you just to remind you I love you. But just in case it does. Hey, I love yah. For futures and new fires, for old times sake, for the hell of it, man just because I do.
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Monday, May 19th, 2008
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12:36 pm - hey you there
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that's right you. No not the person beside you. lol My sister's baby shower is at 2 oclock on saturday which i believe to be the 24th. I dont know how many people are home for the summer but please let me know if you want to come.
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Friday, May 16th, 2008
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11:36 am - hey all
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Summer is nearly upon me, and already here for some. So my obvious question is; when are we going to hang out? Lol yes me and you. Common, would it be so bad to see me again?
I want to kick back and relax this summer. But instead I'll be working. Although I must admit I don't mind it so much now that I have imediate goals in the near future. Someday I'll want a house, kids, a car that runs ect. lol
Speaking of kids my sister is in town from alaska to have her baby. The shower is rapidly approaching so if you'd like to come please let me know.
I am doing really well I hope all of you are too. If not hang in there okay?
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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
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3:27 am - 2 of 2 (my submission) (please review, yes I know its f-ed up)
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Young girls are not quite right sometimes. They dine on imaginary meals and sip invisible tea. Their laughter echoes more like shrieking. Their shrieking is silent as it whimpers in their throat. Everyone loves them instantly, and then forgets them just as easily. I suppose that’s because sometimes love turns wrong too.
I once loved a girl, though what became of her I cannot say. She was enchanting. I first met her by chance walking down a crowded street. I was begging; I’m not too proud to admit. I expected her to overlook me. The passing faces always pretended they didn’t notice when I asked for food. At first when my eyes traced her face I was puzzled.
I had never seen a disfigurement before. I had never known a face could distort. Her left eye sunk low on her face, brilliant blue. Her lip stretched too far when she smiled at me. The skin of one cheek lay uneven and chunky against her fragile frame. There was something searching in her gaze, a wanting like only a child can have.
My Sylvia, her name was Sylvia. She invited me over for lunch that very moment. I accepted even though I wasn’t really sure I could trust her. There was just something in her voice. She spoke so sweetly that a wind chime in a thunderstorm couldn't match her range of pitches. After that first day I never left her side. Days flew by and months. It seemed like fate. We were a match made in heaven. Both alone. Both looking for someone to love.
Sylvia told me once she’d had a momma that loved her like I did. But she left late one night and never came back. After a while people stopped asking where she’d gone and eventually she began to forget. She cried when she told me she wished she could forget what happened to her face and remember her mother instead. Of course she knew when something awful happens you can’t ever forget it.
She didn’t like to talk about her face, so I thought the whole matter was settled. I cuddled closer to her that night. About a week later she confessed that she was worried she would forget me someday. I wasn’t worried. She was my love, my life, and my light. The only one I loved and the only one who loved me.
I still remember that next morning. There was a drizzling rain outside. Sylvia crept from her bed and down the creaky stairs just like she always did. When she got to the kitchen she opened my usual can of cat chow and poured the meat soup into my little bowl. Upstairs I heard and rushed down. She petted me and told me she loved me. I meowed that I loved her too. She smiled that smile which always ran off sideways. While I ate she put the big cooking pot on the stove. No sooner had it come to a boil than she tossed me in and slammed on the lid with her little hands.
Crunch. Clank. The lid fell into place. At first, I rolled and rattled in the pot. Then, curled and tossed and screamed. I couldn’t tell you how I screamed. It must have been like one of those baby bunnies that are too scared to run away from the lawn mower.
The scent of burning flesh filled our little kitchen. Not mine of course. In the end mine was boiled away from the bones and not burned. No, the stench was from her hands holding the lid in place. It scorched and sunk deep into the muscles of her palms. She didn't move. Didn’t scream. She used no words to cheapen the memory of her love.
Soon, I had no more strength to move and no desire to fight. Acceptance helped me detach myself from the pain. It barely even hurt anymore. Static roared in my ears. My mind drifted into clarity. When you see or do something truly awful, you remember it forever.
What happened to that girl I cannot say. I can only say this. Even in death I will never forget those haunting blue eyes, or that sweet, twisted smile.
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3:26 am - one of two
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Thursday, February 21st, 2008
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3:33 pm - hey everyone
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I'm back in town! Thanks to everyone who made it to the wedding I hope you all had fun. To those of you who couldn't make it that we wanted to come we missed you very much. To everyone else...well... I hope everything is going really well for you. :) I'm sure the lovely and beautiful ameya will have pictures up before too long. It was a blast, honeymooning was great. I am honestly really happy to be back home. I think the pup missed us he has hardly left our side. Slept in our bed and everything.
I'm feeling pretty good. A little funny and I am getting totally spoiled from not having to be at work or anything for a while. Thanks very much to Z for helping with everything and watching the little man while we were gone. I hope he wasn't too much trouble.
My sister is officially gone. She is stopping off in montana before completing her trip to alaska. I wish her well and look forward to her return and the birth of Hedia here in a couple of months. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures of her when she is born. he he... babies!
Seems like everything is going so well for everyone. School, lovers, lives. I'm really happy that I got to share growing up with you all, and now that we are grown I'm glad everyone is on there way to becoming successful and happy people. Then again we'll see if I still sing this tune when i get back to school and have to make up a weeks worth of assignments lol.
Love you guys!
current mood: happy
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Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
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2:44 pm - gift ideas
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